逆天改命！托福写作新题型4分范文，强行升级为5分范文！
现在ETS就像一个万事屋，真的是有求必应。
自从托福考试宣布改革以来，家长和考生们最为关心的热点，就是新增加的学术讨论写作，能不能多提供一些新的样题。这样可以帮助学生更好的备考。
前几天ETS官方就放出来了三个新版的样品，并且还非常贴心的提供了4个示范案例。分别是第2篇样题的4分和5分答案，以及第3篇样题的4分和5分答。
无老师之前就曾经提过，对于口语、写作这样的主观题，教研的最核心点，就应该是不同分数段的评分标准。而美国人给的评分标准，多年以来，一直就不是很好用。因为，对于中国人来说，一方面是大家的脑回路，思考的角度不一样。另外一方面是他们书写的评分标准都太书面化了，对于一线考生和老师指导作用不强。
因此对于中国的考生和老师来说，研究主观题最为核心的方法，就应该是搜集大量的不同分数段的案例，然后总结出这个评分标准，这是一项极为重要的工作，也是很多机构的核心竞争力。
在ETS给出的第2份和第3份的样题当中，虽然分别给出了4分和5分的范文。但是这两篇4分和5分的答案没有任何的关系，这是两篇独立的答案。学生们看了之后呢，固然有感觉，就是5分的作文比4分的作文写得更好，但是怎么能把4分的作文提升成5分的作文，各位同学是没有感觉的。
今天无老师就来给各位同学锦上添花，为这两篇4分的范文升一个级！把这两篇4分的范文改写为5分的范文，让同学们更深刻的体会到，五分范文和四分范文之间遣词造句上的差异。
这就像是无老师多年前，一直在坚持写的作文巨讲堂，一定是同一篇作文，给出不同分数段的范例，学生看完之后感觉才更强烈。学生看完之后才会体会到，同样是一句话，A用这个句式，它写出来的就是4分。B用另外一个句式，它写出来的就是5分。这样直接对比，学生的感觉太强烈。
首先是学术讨论写作的第2篇样题，题目是
Your professor is teaching a class on sociology. Write a post responding to the professor's question.
In your response you should:
• express and support your opinion
• make a contribution to the discussion
An effective response will contain at least 100 words.
Dr. Diaz
Over the next few weeks, we are going to look at lots of different materials about the role of television programs and television watching in people's lives. But first, I want to know what you think about this topic. So here's a question for the class discussion board: What do you think is the most significant effect that watching television has on people? Why do you think television has this effect?
Kelly
I know that one way that television influences people's behavior is that when you are watching television, you are not moving around or exercising. This is especially true for children. The American Academy of Pediatrics says that when children spend a lot of time watching television, they have a greater tendency to be overweight.
Paul
I think the main effect that television has on people is to broaden their experience. There are so many programs devoted to nature and travel. Think of all the different places in the world you can experience through television! Last night I watched a program about life in Antarctica, and it was fascinating!
4分范例
Task 2 - This is a mid-level response.
In my opinion, television makes the life more interesting and fun. There are so many interesting channels and programs, and they make people laugh during watching TV. I think this is a big effect that television on people, as time is passing by. Especially these days, people lives with the serious problems and accidents. People need something fresh and can entertain. Televisions do these kind of works very well. Through Music program, people can have relaxing time, through comedy program, people can laugh... and so on. Therefore, the television influences people's feeling much better, and I think this is very important effect!!
4分范例改写升级后的5分范例
In my view, television adds an element of intrigue and amusement to life. The multitude of captivating channels and programs provide a source of laughter for viewers. The pervasive influence of television over time is undeniable. This is especially true in the current times, where individuals grapple with weighty issues and unfortunate mishaps. Consequently, people require something novel and entertaining to ease their minds. Television serves this purpose remarkably well. The soothing tunes of music programs offer respite, while the comic relief of comedy programs elicits laughter. Thus, television exerts a substantial positive impact on people's emotions, and I deem this effect as exceedingly significant!
学术讨论写作的第3篇样题，题目是
Your professor is teaching a class on economics. Write a post responding to the professor's question.
In your response you should:
• express and support your opinion
• make a contribution to the discussion
An effective response will contain at least 100 words. You will have 10 minutes to write it.
Dr. Achebe
When people are asked about the most important discoveries or inventions made in the last two hundred years, they usually mention something very obvious, like the computer or the cell phone. But there are thousands of other discoveries or inventions that have had a huge impact on how we live today. What scientific discovery or technological invention from the last two hundred years—other than computers and cell phones—would you choose as being important? Why?
Paul
I mean, we're so used to science and technology that we are not even aware of all the things we use in our daily lives. I would probably choose space satellites. This technology happened in the last hundred years, and it has become important for so many things. Just think about navigation, or telecommunications, or even the military.
Claire
I am thinking about medical progress. Like, for example, when scientists discovered things about healthy nutrition. I am thinking of identifying all the vitamins we need to stay healthy. I am not sure exactly when the vitamin discoveries happened, but I know they are very important. Our health is much better than it was 200 years ago.
4分范例
Response B, Score of 4
From my personal point of view, I think the most important invention is the light bulb. Before it was invented, people had have to use candles for illumination in the evening. It's performance is not very stable, and it is produce really high tempreture which would probably lead to a fire accident. Light bulbs, however, produce constant and bright lighting at nights. One light bulb could use for several years, which is quite convenient-people don't need to storage many bulbs. What's more, it is safer than past candles. This is a huge progress in technology, and I consider it as the most vital invention from the last 200 years.
4分范例改写升级后的5分范例
In my personal opinion, the light bulb ranks as the most significant invention. Prior to its creation, candles served as the primary source of illumination during the night. The performance of candles was unstable, and they generated excessive heat that posed the threat of fire hazards. In contrast, light bulbs emanate a steady and radiant light, rendering them highly efficient for nocturnal purposes. Moreover, a single light bulb may be utilized for several years, eliminating the need for storage of numerous bulbs. The safety provided by light bulbs surpasses that of candles, highlighting a monumental stride in technology. Thus, I deem the light bulb as the paramount invention of the last two centuries.
而且的这些样品里面有2个细节，非常有趣。
第一个细节，说明会有新版官方指南
仔细看就能发现，三份样题的抬头是不一样的。这里面1和3非常相似，第2份样题出来了一个页数，这个很可能来源于新版的托福官方指南，只是这个新版的官方指南还没有发布。因此这个细节透露出一个消息，就是接下来还会有新版的官方指南，我们只要等待这个新版官方指南发布就好了。
第二个细节，说明这4篇范文全是手动提取的，ETS对外放的消息，有所保留。
样题二的四分答案和五分答案前面的标注，用的是Task 2 - This is a mid-level response.和Task 2 - This is a high-level response.
样题三的四分答案和五分答案前面的标注，用的是Response B, Score of 4和Response A, Score of 5。
这两个样题范文的标注方式差别非常大。而且考虑到前面已经说了第2篇样题，很有可能是官方指南里面提供的样题，因此它提供的范文的格式非常的标准，写的是Task 2 - This is a mid-level response.
而样题三，很有可能是提供者认为样本量不够，想再多提供1篇样本，但是官方指南里面提供的也不够多，因此找了同事多提供一篇样本，而且各给了一篇4分和5分的答案。但是因为不是官方的出版物，用词没有那么认真。所以用的标注是Response B, Score of 4和Response A, Score of 5。
从这个角度来说样题一和样题三很有可能是我们本来得不到的，但是ETS现在是一个万事屋，有求必应。所以是咱们幸运得到的！恭喜各位考生！
相信以后还有很多考生，会想找到这篇文章，以及会想看到更多的题目来源，因此无老师把ETS官方提供的三篇范文的图片都附在下面，方便各位无花果进行研究和学习。
