无老师iBT新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(2011年2月号)【无老师作文】

奉天承运,老无诏曰。无老师作文巨讲堂再次开启!上次作文巨讲堂还是在农历新年之前,无老师的作文巨讲堂系列给您拜年了! 话说这作文的高低,初级看语法水平,高级看遣词造句!现在NBA赛场“给力芬”一次,就把格里芬如下山猛虎的暴扣描述的一览无遗!这就是用词恰到好处的价值!虽然先托福考试对于用词的要求还打不到这个层次,但是佳句偶得总是令人愉悦的。什么是好句子?“轻舟已过万重山”,就是好句子,你如果写成“一个木舟开过了1万公里了!”就显得既没有画面感,也没有冲击力。 跟各位聊聊怎么把自己的句子改为“轻舟已过万重山”这样的好句子,就是无老师作文巨讲堂的目的所在。废话不多说,主菜上桌喽O(∩_∩)O~! 优秀范例:There are two halves to achieving a new reality: You must have time to dream, and you must take action. Give yourself time for creative visualization daily. Note ideas that come, and keep a record of these. Make a rule that you spend X amount of time daily taking action on your dreams. Artists produce artwork. Authors write. If you are not taking action, you will not achieve your dream。 普通范例:If you want to make a achievement, there are two parts you have to do: You must have time to make a dream, and you must make a movement. You should have time to make a visualization every day. You must think about it and make a note of them. You should make a rule that you should make some time every day to make your dream real. If you are an artist, you should make an artistic production. If you are a writer, you should write something. If you do not do any thing, the dream will never come ture. 中文译文:要想完成一种新的成就是由两个部分决定的:你必须有时间梦想,你必须采取行动。给自己时间,创造形象化的每一天。关注并记录下出现的想法。形成每天花若干时间采取实现梦想的行动的习惯。艺术家创作艺术作品。作家写作品。如果你不采取行动,就不会实现梦想。 咱们首先看好句There are two halves to achieving a new reality用的halve一词,用的是在精妙,这个词的意思是“将…二等分; 平分”此处当做名词来使用,恰好的表示了需要,而且仅需要2部分之意。但是如果你仅用平庸句子If you want to make a achievement, there are two parts you have to do之中的part,那么读者并不知道到底有多少个部分,也须有3部分,或许有5部分,但是你只说了2部分。这就是优秀句子用词更准确。然后优秀句子里面把“让梦想成真”直接翻译为achieving a new reality简洁清晰用new直接修饰reality,相比于平庸句子want to make a achievement显得用词更灵活。 然后优秀句子You must have time to dream, and you must take action.相比于平庸句子You must have time to make a dream, and you must make a movement.贫僧认为优势并不明显,可以说不分伯仲。 接下来优秀范例之中写到Give yourself time for creative visualization daily.比之平庸范例的You should have time to make a visualization every day.就好多了。虽然优秀范例只是用的祈使句,这样显得过于口语化,但是后面的creative visualization daily写得很棒。因为visualization动词转化为名词,本身就有“使之形象化”之意,因此不用再像平庸范例里一样加入一个make。然后后面的daily相比于every day的表示方式,就好像同样说闹心,优秀范例用的是“微微的忧郁”,平庸范例就说:“新买的白球鞋,被人踩了”^_^ 后面优秀范例写的是:Note ideas that come, and keep a record of these.平庸例子是You must think about it and make a note of them.也是分不出高低。 后面Make a rule that you spend X amount of time daily taking action on your dreams.与平庸范例You should make a rule that you should make some time every day to make your dream real.相比,其实差别也就在于daily的用法,前面已经讲过,不再赘述。 然后呢呢呢呢......贫尼认为优秀范例Artists produce artwork. Authors write. If you are not taking action, you will not achieve your dream.比起平庸范例If you are an artist, you should make an artistic production. If you are a writer, you should write something.差别也就在于Author与writer的差别,可以说Author更正式,writer则是write转化而来,显不得你的单词量的广博,因此Author更好。 最后的If you are not taking action, you will not achieve your dream.和If you do not do any thing, the dream will never come ture.也是竹竿打水平平过,分不出高低呀! 今天的无老师作文巨讲堂差别主要体现在用词上,筒子们好好体会哦HOHOHO!O(∩_∩)O~ 相关阅读: 无老师新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(1)【无老师作文】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/1787 无老师新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(2)【无老师作文】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/1805 无老师新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(3)【无老师作文】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/1807 无老师新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(4)【无老师作文】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/1834 无老师新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(5)【无老师作文】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/2141 无老师新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(6)【无老师作文】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/2221 iBT新托福突破口TPO综合写作满分范文【无老师力荐】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/2175 托福作文题目写作思路【无老师力荐】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/2153 20天汉译英作文法【无老师力荐】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/2145 iBT新托福金牌五星作文模板词(形容词、副词+动词篇):http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/1813 新托福作文——见山不是山,见水还是水【无老师原创】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/2075 手把手教你打造满分作文模板(上)【无老师原创】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/1092 手把手教你打造满分作文模板(下)【无老师原创】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/1141 美国总统奥巴马制造的作文模板(第1期)【无老师原创】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/1302

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